Music on Repeat -1

I think everybody, every now and then, gets addicted to one or the other songs for days or weeks or even months. Currently, I am listening following songs on repeat and I am also posting their youtube URLs for reference to the version I am addicted to:

1. Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen 

Freddie Mercury, the greatest frontman of the Rock and Metal, and one of the greatest any of the music genres ever, mesmerises me with his voice, the lyrics, the music and the overall song pattern. I particularly like the way he gets into gear at 3:15 to sing the following lines:

“So you think you can stone me and spit in my eyes

so you think you can love me and leave me to die

I find this version much better than the studio version.

2. Rubberneckin’ by Elvis Presley

Who told you that rubbernecking is a bad habit? It is a philosophy as the King tells us, so musically and so eloquently, through this song of his.

Stop, look and listen baby, this song is addictive! Typical Rock and Roll and King’s melodious voice!

3. Kashmir by Led Zeppelin  

One of the best and most recognisable guitar riffs. This song of Led Zeppelin, for me, is better than their Stairway to Heaven! Simply love its lyrics and the music!

4. Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd

Since I am comfortably numb now for rest of my life, this song is going to stay on repeat for rest of the life! Amazing song! Personal! Pink Floyd tells why they are one of the greatest rock bands!

5. Ob la di, Ob la da by Beatles

Life goes on brahh! A lovely song by my favourite band! Lyrics are so good and the music is just relaxing, calming and smooth! Listen the love story, of Desmond and Molly, unfolding!

6. Don’t Worry, be Happy by Bob Marley (with due respect to Bobby McFerrin) 

What a song! Though a much abused, misused and disused cliche “Don’t worry be happy” , this song put much needed soul to the cliche. Lovely song! “the landlord says your rent is late, he may have to litigate; don’t worry be happy”  I never had imagined a poetic use of the word – litigate.

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An Unfounded Desire

From the many desires that we, the humans, possess, or are possessed by, the desire to live longer is the most paradoxical to me. I am not able to understand as to why humans desire to live longer. Medically, morally, spiritually, philosophically, demographically, economically, socially and intellectually, this desire has no pillars to stand upon. Yet, even without any support, this desire stands tallest amongst all. The idea of immortality has always fascinated us. Not a single culture exists that has not explored it in its own manner. The Greeks, the Indians, the Christians, the Mayans, the Chinese and many more have expressed this desire through mix of fables, mythology and tales. When humans realised that immortality is a figment of human’s imagination, they evolved this desire into much more plausible and possible looking desire of increasing age or life span of humans as much as it can be. To live across two centuries and experience Napoleonic Wars, and then experience rise of British Empire along with the two world wars followed by human’s conquest of moon, is indeed a fascinating idea. But seldom have we thought, is it worthy enough?

In modern world, this desire has been intricately woven into research and development policy of almost all the nations. The research for anti-ageing, for increasing life expectancy and life span of populations, for curing some rare diseases [even if it involves something as brutal as ‘Halstedian’ methods of radical surgery to “treat” cancer], etc. finds significant budget, support, resources and public acceptance. So much support and acceptance that the morality of the research goes unchallenged. After all, it is all about ‘improving’ quality of human life and elongating it till the cells or the latest medication permits. Prima facie, the research is moral and has therefore ample public support unlike fields such as space research or research related to Higgs-boson.

While the nations spend their money and resources in this sort of research to fulfill the long-standing desire, they also put money and resources in organising conferences where they “discuss” perils of increasing population, raise alarm, and speak on how it needs to be “controlled”. This nonsense, of  the two contrary ideas of increasing life span and controlling population at same time, to quote the famous jurist and legal philosopher-Jeremy Bentham, appears to be upon stilts.  What puts this nonsense upon stilts further upon the pole star [so that it is for all to see] is the fact that instead of letting older people die naturally of diseases, ageing, trauma etc, and stopping research in these areas, the nations doubly invest in advertising blitzkrieg, public propaganda, and public “education” campaigns on birth control. The trouble is that humans want to control everything – birth as well as death. This makes no sense-neither socially, demographically, or economically. Intellectual bankruptcy is not hidden either. I would rather prefer a society that has numbers more tilted towards younger people than older people. And this is actually desired everywhere, for example, Europe at large, Japan, China are all struggling with their older population, they call it “burden” on the exchequer, and what not, whereas India, which has 70% people under 40, is hailed for its impending “demographic dividend”.

Scientifically, biological systems are not meant to live longer. They will dissipate energy, they will tend to reach an equilibrium with surroundings, for that they probably sometimes need a pathogen entering their blood stream through a hole punctured or already existing in  skin, or a heart let loose or may be even cells and tissues at times. The causes may be many. We may choose to push this stage further. But how justified is it to undergo amputation of organs and limbs, or to have drugs with multiple side-effects [ironically, life threatening] to push this stage further? Recently Angelina Jolie made news with her double mastectomy. She was cheered, she was lauded and she was called as an “ideal” for women [men too], who came forth and underwent the surgery just after knowing that she has high risk of getting a breast cancer [after diagnosis with infamous BRCA1 and BRCA2 tests]. It was a preventive surgery, when nothing had happened to body at all and was free of the disease. This scare of short life and longing for long life, that has been created over a millennia, can push humans to such extremes. But the fact, the scientific fact, that remains is that she has to die. All of us have to die.

In saying above, I do not propose that medical research be stopped. Of course, we do not want our populations to die younger. Therefore, medical research be directed towards improving “quality” of life, instead of increasing its quantity. In a famous Bollywood film, Anand [released 1971], the lead character, who is shown to be suffering from lymphosarcoma of the intestine and is about to die in six months or so, tells a profound philosophy, packed in one line, to his doctor friend,”Life should be larger, not longer”. Needless to say the character dies and dies young, but not on false hopes of being saved or scared of not being saved. Of course, we do not desire diseases in our society, from common cold to devastating cancers, therefore humans seek treatment for all the diseases which are currently under the sun, or which will come under the sun as we move ahead in the evolution. But I think humans have gathered enough Big Data to compute that this [treatment for all diseases] is humanely impossible feat to achieve. Despite increase in treatments, what we actually see is the number of incidences of diabetes, cancer, heart disorders, etc. increasing every year. Not once have these incidences shown a southward trend. WHO projects that growth in cancer incidences, heart attacks, diabetes and all the diseases this world is made up of as economists project growth in GDP of an economy. 

Why not turn this scare for death into love for quality life? One of the most needed and desired medical advances that I consider are not monoclonal antibodies treating cancer, while stripping humans of their immunity or even a pegfilgrastim that again repletes body with immunity after exposure to cancer treatment, but that of Polio vaccine. It improved the quality of life. Its impact has been profound. It has ‘prevented’ the disease and therefore there’s no need for the treatment at all. What if a preventive medication for cancer been made available to Angelina Jolie? Another area of research should be palliative care. Medical research is needed, but in preventive and palliative healthcare. And these researches are not just limited to medical field of art only, these researches transgress typical medical research themes and goes into realms such as sanitation, cleanliness, diet etc, and thereby adding to quality and grandeur of life.

The ultimate human desire is the reduction of sufferings while one goes through Shakespearean stages of life. A heavily tilted balance towards the unfounded and misplaced desire of long life or anti-ageing is stripping us of fulfilling a much more substantial desire of lowering the sufferings. Instead of mindlessly researching on increasing life expectancy and life span, I would suggest a more radical idea i.e. the discussions must be on the ideal age of death. In warm world of human relations, there is no ideal age. We want our near and dear ones to live forever. But in cold detached world of reality, policy making, and public good, this point must be explored. And of course it may vary from person to person. But such an assortment of data might prepare the future human race, or to put it eloquently, our posterity, to expect low in terms of longevity of life, and feed them in their system that it is all right to die younger and no alarm should be raised in low life expectancy or life span of its nationals, as long as, the nationals live a quality life within their shorter life span.

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My Doping Agent

Sometimes, in fact, many times, I get afflicted by this block. I am unable to write. Not that I have any dearth of ideas, or the world is bereft of issues, just that at times, I am unable to explore a single thought or idea to a greater length, which may be worthy enough for a rhythmical assortment of prose or rhyming delicacy of verses. It feels like my proverbial pen is although full with ink of inspiration, but my hands unable to print those inspirations to paper. 

At such times, my mind is completely ‘blank’, much like an un-doped “semiconductor”. The semiconductor material has both holes and electron holes, but they still can’t conduct electricity because they are in equilibrium-[thermal equilibrium]. From my vague memory of physics teacher’s lessons in school days, I recall that they have all these positive [holes] and negative [electrons] charges ‘running’ haywire and effectively cancelling all the charge and velocities, making it incapable of conducting current. Similarly, my mind has multiple thoughts, but all running in different directions, in a haywire manner [therefore, overall, a blank mind]; and as soon as an ‘impurity’ strikes, the thoughts get aligned in one direction [a la doping of semiconductor material], and thoughts are conducted through this blog as a post. 

Despite various attempts, I was unable to decipher the characteristics of these ‘impurities’ that suddenly align my thoughts, and I open my macbook and conduct them to the world. In fact, sometimes, the impurities have been so strong [n-type, intrinsic] that I have written some essay-type posts around just one thought. And sometimes, the impurities are extrinsic [p-type] that I am able to combine various thoughts into a single meaningful assortment of proses or verses. Only this characteristic of those “impurities”, I was  able to demystify previously. Beyond this, I had no idea of the characteristic of these “impurities” or doping agents. 

I used to wonder if they depended on the posture I take while sitting. I mean if I sit upright, thoughts are running haywire, as soon as I lie down, I am able to align thoughts. But how many times can you really lie down in a day, without sleeping? Then I wonder, if they depended on the way I sleep. The most liked post on this blog i.e.  Mother English came to me when I was trying to sleep diagonally on my bed and was engaged in a schizophrenic dialogue. I instantaneously woke up and just started writing. Then I wondered whether they come from what I eat. Whenever I eat one meal a day, instead of my regular one and a half,  I get blogging ideas. This post Currently Reading  struck me during one such day. 

Somehow, I have now figured out about my doping agents aka “impurities” that take my mind to a high of aligned thoughts. I am now certain that whenever the pain becomes unbearable, I talk to the blog, and to the readers through the blog. And the thought during that hour is elevated to the status of a blog post. Right now, I am afflicted from the block too. I must wait for a greater tide of pain to strike back. In oceans of suffering, where I pilot my life’s ship, there is no dearth of tides of pain. 

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Who wouldn’t want me?

I am happy that I did not leave anyone with loneliness. As long as I was with them, I did not allow them to be lonely and as soon as time and life made me part from them, I realise that I did not give them any memory strong enough to feel lonely without me or even miss me. People should be wary of a company that is unforgettable.

I am proud of the fact that I did not give those people any memory strong enough to feel lonely without me.

I am proud of the fact that the memories I gave didn’t linger on in mind of those people.

I am proud of the fact that those memories were shredded so very easily as soon as there was a chance of forming new and seemingly better memory.

I am proud of the fact that no one misses me.

I am proud of the fact that my voice, my touch, my fragrance, my laughter all was forgotten so quickly by those people.

I am proud of the fact that I am not worth remembering at all.

I am proud of the fact that I am worth no regrets of the types one feels about letting someone go so easily.

I am proud of the fact that without me those people were able to make good friends and then share life with them eventually.

I am proud of the fact that without me those people didn’t stop living, rather started living and enjoying life.

I feel very proud of the fact that without me those people became more outgoing, more party-loving, more gathering-loving, more night-outs loving, more dinners-loving, more film-going i.e. more society loving.

I am proud of the fact that without me those people could see light.

I am proud of the fact that without me those people could move on with flow of time.

I am proud of the fact that without me those people started indulging in joys of life.

I am proud of the fact that I am so forgettable that people didn’t and don’t feel need to call me, email me, text me, message me or write to me, when I was and I am away.

I am proud of the fact that they were and are able to carry on their business as usual, without feeling a pinch of my absence.

I am proud of the fact that my absence doesn’t make those people cry or shed tears.

I am proud of the fact that with my company amiss from those people’s life, they didn’t feel any urge to run away from their shadows or hide themselves in dark to get rid of them.

I am proud of the fact that whatever moments of joy that I gave them, they were all forgotten so easily in tide of time that they didn’t linger on for rest of their lives.

I am so very proud of the fact that despite giving them laughters and happiness, I am so forgettable, that then didn’t miss me at all when we were apart.

I am proud that I did not cause those people any pain or feeling of longing when I was with them and after they left me.

I am proud because these facts make my company even more coveted, since with me or without me, you will never feel lonely; with me or without me, there will be no void in your life; with me or without me, there will be nothing amiss; with me or without me, there will be no panic in your life; with me or without me, joys would always be in your life; with me or without me, there will be laughter and happiness in your lives.

Who am I? (Not the author, of course)

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First Attempt at Writing a Sonnet [Sonnet I]

Shakespeare’s beautiful sonnets have mesmerised me. After reading his sonnets, I was inspired to pen my own sonnets, or to put it more aptly, to attempt to pen my own sonnets. I read a lot on this subject matter, from various dubious and authentic sources, but then I went back to reading Shakespeare’s sonnets and tried to understand the craft of the great sonneteer. Below was my first ever attempt [very recently] at composing a sonnet. I had written it in one attempt in around 30-45 minutes. I tried to keep it really simple, so that I adhere to basic requirements of writing English sonnets, at least in terms of maintaing 3 quatrains of alternating rhyme and a couplet.  I know that in this one I  made many mistakes, and some of it may be gibberish, but I am also sure that I tried to say something. There are many more, but let me start with this one. And may be with practice, I will improve the craft. So, read on: 
 
Tears in his eyes, wearing smile on his lips
he talks and meets world with all exuberance
below the frivolous surface his heart slowly rips
on surface is mounted a deceptive facade of ebullience
 
not that he is not at peace but he is in grief too
and his thoughts are marred with ironies of life
his sadness is pale, with a stark grief and laughter blue
with such constant strifes, his heart and mind is rife
 
he walks with wings folded, and his desires are now cold
 ambitious, he wants to conquer yet he remains aloof
in seclusion and reclusion he  finds his mind’s mould
of his innermost defeat , there’s no other proof
 
     he has now forsaken wants, and will to breathe
     inside he is dead, outside is just a recessed sheath
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